Having a think this weekend about the doubling of our government recently. So handy to have two Prime Ministers, two Attorneys General, two Governor Generals. An heir and a spare for each spot. But I think some of us have failed to realise that we haven't yet doubled the kingmaker himself, our Speaker.
That great bewigged Sinasina figure at the centre of all of this, and the back of the Parliament---Jeffrey Nape. Now some discussions has ensued already on facebook as to the new age of men's style in Parliament---and we take off our natty highlands hats to all of you statesmen in bespoke summer suits (you know who you are) with pastel shirts and bona fide silk ties (let's just say that all those embezzled monies haven't really been squandered). You look fabulous! It is up to you, of course, to merge this new Miami Vice look with the sulu and Pacific shirt standard, but somehow I know you will manage.
My concern now, and I believe it is urgent, is the hair issue. The wig. Now we know that the real emblem of that office is not the big kwila chair that seerms to encase Mr Nape like a womb, nor the gavel or lovely long robes. Asked personally about the gorgeous white locks and whether his promotion to GG will force him to set these aside, we were told the hirsuite adornment is a permanent feature of Parliament and cannot leave the floor, not for a night at the clubs, not for role playing in the Speaker's quarters upstairs, not for a nits wash in the state laundry. It is, we understand, a fixture.
What I propose is that we not so much duplicate the position of Speaker, but that we provide for the Speaker a small selection of alternate 'looks' he might sport for question sessions on the floor, or for those more humid days when Air Arnold Ahmet threatens to turn off the air con in the big house.
At risk of sounding disrespectful, I have reviewed some of the more popular options, including the currently trending long beaded extensions look favoured by every middle class highlands girl under 3 feet tall---and come up with a handful of possisbilities. Plese feel free, dear readers, to add your own.
Do let us try to keep in mind that it is the dignity of the office that comes first in this peaceful coup. By all means.