Gilligan's island just got toys!

Dolls cause quite a stir in Buka

Post-Courier Friday October 1st

By Patrick Levo

A blue turquoise ocean with gentle waves lapping on the white sandy shores of palm fringed coral islands, Add a ‘shipwreck’ in the distance and two ‘castaway’ dolls. Indeed a laid back scene of Pacific serenity and an imposing backdrop for a Crusoe type epic but not quite the script for a dramatic Hollywood blockbuster just yet!

However in this picturesque idyllic playground, a recent shipwreck and the story of its castaway survivors have the local population in an uproar. It is brewing as the hottest love story with an insidious sex appeal slowly enveloping the forested atolls of Buka and developing somewhere on mainland Bougainville.

Mention the name of the offending ship—Le Feng—and you will get inquiring looks from the locals of Buka passage.

That might just also be the appropriate title for the developing story if there is ever an attempt to shoot a sequel to the current episode involving angry villagers demanding justice, bemused police offering little or no leads and a bunch of youths high on home brew intent on having the time of their lives.

The stars in the cast are the castaway dolls and since April, the dark skinned island youths have guarded these with some intrepid enterprise and elementary Watson zeal in evading police and their own people.

Now Buka police have launched ‘Operation Le Feng’ in an attempt to rescue the lost castaways—a pair of bubbly obedient twins who once commanded the satiable sex needs of their oriental crew members.

It all began in April this year when the Malaysian registered logging ship MV Le Feng, traveling from Panama to Solomon Islands, encountered engine problems compounded by cyclonic weather and struck Hahamui reef between Matsungan and Petats Islands off Buka Island.

Various attempts to refloat the vessel were unsuccessful and the Chinese crew members—unable to communicate with local officials due to language difficulties—packed up and left, leaving as ghost ship parked on the reef to this date with their most ingratiating passengers—two lifelike sex dolls.

The people of the nearby islands finally boarded the unguarded, stranded ship and stripped it bare of all valuable assets including lifeboats, food, gas and anything they could lay their hands on.

According to eye witnesses, youths from one of the islands –just like the pirates of the Caribbean—clambered aboard the 50 metre vessel one dark night, and during a thorough room to room search under torch light, came upon a locked cabin.

Smashing it open in the hope of finding some hidden treasure, they were horrified to locate two human sized figures. Closer inspection by the astounded ‘rescuers’ soon revealed that these were not life sized rescue training mannequins but spicy sex dolls used by the mariners for absolute ‘pleasure and pain’ on the high seas. Now the ‘sex slave dolls’ are the talk of the islands as womenfolk in whispered tones refer to them as ‘raba mama’ or ‘rubber pumps’ while officially, police desperately search high and low after the Le Feng dolls—illegal sex toys under PNG law—and their seemingly invincible captors.

Adding to the hilarious and deepening mystery of the ongoing doll hunt, a senior Buka policeman said: “Yes, we were initially looking for this ‘raba meri’ for our prisoners but we have not succeeded. We are already told one has been sold to mainland Bougainville.”

A concerned community leader Rebecca Hamis said: “These rubber women should be removed and destroyed because young boys are also being exposed to it and their minds are disturbed, find it and get rid of it before we have more social problems.”

Whatever you call them, they are made for one thing and that is to entertain men without complaining and that is probably why the police response has been half hearted as the stretched out force has bigger more stressful human problems to worry about on a daily basis.

According to one islander, who seemed to have appreciated the rubber mama’s erotic appeal, the dolls are power operated, and can do what normal women perform.

“Rubber mama can sing, she can perform like a real woman,” the man, who asked not to be named, said.

According to our friend, rubber mama can say: ‘come here baby, come and make sweet love to me!’

Stranger things are happening which is compounding a rather rubbery situation. Since power is needed for the dolls to sing love songs, portable generator sets have suddenly gone missing in villages on Buka.

One genset owner said his power unit went missing one dark night ‘only to turn up a few days later,’ alas with its full tank of diesel all used up.

The general consensus among the populace is that youths under the influence of homebrew or drugs –commonly referred to as druggies—are pinching the gensets to power up the dolls and ‘have a good time’ in the bushes.

Police leads are few but they believe one doll was recently traded for a large sum of money to buyers on mainland Bougainville while its twin is doing the cheap rounds of cocoa patches in Buka.

Cheap sex dolls are inflatable and usually made of welded vinyl, resembling men or women with artificial sex organs. It seems the Le Feng castaways were cats in a more expensive mould of latex or silicone and the druggies of Bougainville are having a delightfully lustful time.

Meanwhile, the ship is still sitting on the reef, its owners fined K36,000 by the Buka District Court in April while its two shipwrecked ‘sailors’ are lifelessly being hounded and pounded into oblivion by the druggy pirates of the Buka Pasis.

Hey wait. I think I found the toy.